No matter where you are, if you are a young, teen aged lady-- in particular, a Christian one, then you are probably surrounded by many different expectations. On one end of the spectrum, you're probably bombarded with the world's standards of true 'beauty' (You know, you have to look like all of the actresses in Hollywood), and the idea that if you don't have a boyfriend when you're sixteen that you're missing out on all the 'fun' of your teenage years. Even if you're not in public school, you can hear these things from neighbors, movies, just about anywhere. Sadly, these ideas are everywhere. On the other end of the spectrum, you may be from a conservative Christian home (as am I) but are sometimes overwhelmed because it seems that many Christians deem it 'ungodly' if you wear pants or don't know how to sew or that you need to marry or you're not obeying God's commands.
Is there something wrong with both of these pictures? Yes. Do they need to be addressed? Certainly. I want to talk a little bit about our world's feminist movement that is growing alarmingly quickly; and I'd also like to look at how some Christians view femininity and what the problems are with that view.
Now, first off, I would like to tell you a story. This took place about four years ago, shortly after my twelfth birthday. I was with my dear friend Haley lying on her bunk bed and thinking carefully. We were having one of our long, serious discussions about life, God, things we would do when we grew up, etc. and I told her that I wasn't sure if I would ever get married. At the time, I couldn't really see myself in a wedding dress and saying "I do" mostly because I was so sure that I would be a missionary (something I still feel called to, and will do, if God leads) and being a missionary who was--single. I had thought about this before, but I don't think I had ever voiced it in so many words.
"Oh, don't worry, dear." She said (or something to that extent.) "I'm sure you will."
I looked at her. "Why?"
"Well..." she reasoned, "because I think most girls do."
I nodded contemplatively.
Now, I have changed my mind quite a bit since that time, and now I can definitely see myself getting married. I want a family, I want to be a homeschooling mom who teaches her children to love the Lord, as my mom has done.
But I share this story because I want to write this not just as someone who wants women to have a husband and children, but also as someone who wants young ladies and women of all ages to serve the Lord first and remember what He says about marriage, femininity, and the distinctions between men and women. If you think you'll never get married, I understand where you are coming from. I'm not a girl who thinks that if you do not get married you're not following God's plan for your life (yes, I really HAVE heard things like that before). So, with that in mind, please read on.
I think one of the main problems with the modern feminism movement is that women are always saying they want "equality" with men. The problem is, we were made to be different.
Ephesians 5:22-33 "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church — for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."[This is a profound mystery — but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. "
And Colossians 3:18 "Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord"
Notice that God never gives the command for husbands to submit to their wives. No, that was not His plan in marriage. His plan was, and is, for women to submit to their husbands. Women have different and distinct roles from what men do. At the same time, we are all equal in our value to God.
Galatians 3:8 "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."
In Christ Jesus, in God's love and forgiveness, we are equal in worth. So I guess that you could say the main problem with the feminist movement is that feminists want women to have their value expressed in the same way as men's value. The main point that they're missing is that we can be of equal value without doing all the same things. A quick example. In 1 Timothy 2, women are forbidden from being Pastors, spiritual leaders and teachers, etc. over men. “A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent.” However, I do not believe that this means women should never evangelize or minister to others, rather, she should leave the spiritual teaching and training of the church to men. Here is a paragraph from http://www.gotquestions.org/women-pastors.html if you have time, I would encourage you to read the whole article. But I will only quote the second-to last paragraph.
"God has ordained that only men are to serve in positions of spiritual teaching authority in the church. This is not because men are necessarily better teachers, or because women are inferior or less intelligent (which is not the case). It is simply the way God designed the church to function. Men are to set the example in spiritual leadership—in their lives and through their words. Women are to take a less authoritative role. Women are encouraged to teach other women (Titus 2:3-5). The Bible also does not restrict women from teaching children. The only activity women are restricted from is teaching men or having spiritual authority over them. This logically would preclude women from serving as pastors/preachers. This does not make women less important, by any means, but rather gives them a ministry focus more in agreement with God’s plan and His gifting of them."
On the other hand, some Christians are combating the feminist movement by having many rules that are not necessarily Biblical. Sometimes this can feel discouraging as well, because young ladies in Christian homes that read Christian books will come across these somewhat legalistic rules at some point or another, and even if they love the Lord and serve Him and try to obey Him, they might feel discouraged by their lifestyle from the words of legalists. This is not healthy, either, and I have one comment about it before I wrap up. I think that as Christians, we need to be careful that the rules we have come from God and that we are not being 'old-fashioned' simply for the sake of being old-fashioned, and calling it godliness. What do I mean? Well, just because it's old-fashioned does not make it godly. Some things that are godly will be labeled 'old-fashioned' by the world, i.e., Christians who wait to have a relationship with the opposite sex until they are older so that they can protect their hearts will often be called 'old-fashioned' or things to that extent-- but it's important that we are determining what our convictions are and not just doing things because they seem old-fashioned and therefore we assume they are Biblical. In the simplest terms, godly things may be called old-fashioned, but old-fashioned things are not necessarily godly. I hope that makes sense.
In closing, I would like to encourage all the young ladies that read this blog to keep aspiring after godliness and biblical femininity. God is so awesome, and He loves you so much. I appreciate all the wonderful, godly young ladies that I know who are aspiring to do His will for their lives. I'll close with a Bible verse,
"Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God." ~ Titus 2:3-5
1 comment:
Oh, you just had to post that conversation, didn't you. :) I'm just kidding. But did I really call you 'dear' at 12 years of age?
Anyway. :P
Thanks for posting this. :)
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