The Mathematician

Yes-- I succumbed to the pressure. This post was spreading from blog to blog to blog several months ago, and I decided it deserved it's own special place on my blog. Oh the joys of math-- especially Geometry. Please realize that I mean that in a very sarcastic way. :) Please enjoy...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are taking a trip across a desert by hot-air balloon. There are not many landmarks; so eventually, they become lost. Luckily, while flying quite low, they see a man.

Holmes shouts, "Sir, could you please tell me where we are?"

The man looks up, ponders for a moment, and then answers, "Gentlemen, you are in a hot-air balloon!"

At this moment, a burst of wind picks up the balloon and carries it away.Holmes turns to Watson and asks:

"My friend, do you know who that man is?"

"No, Holmes, of course not!"

"He's a mathematician!""How do you know?"

"It's very simple, Watson. First of all, the man thought before giving us an answer. Secondly, his answer was absolutely correct. And thirdly, the answer he gave us was of no practical use, whatsoever!"

*Copied from Haley's and Sierra's blogs*

Oh, and there's also another ending to it.

The man below decides that Sherlock is a politician, since he didn't do anything and hasn't changed anything, but the situation is now someone else's fault.

Of course, Holmes is not a politician, so it doesn't fit quite as well-- but it's still extremely funny!

Why Not Gold?

Today I was reading Gracie, Titus, and Matthew a Bible story about Joseph and his brothers-- how he was sold into slavery for pieces of silver, forced to leave his home, punished for something he didn't do, yet in the end God used all of this for something good: so that Joseph could forgive his brothers and give them food. At the end, we started talking about how another King was similar. He had to leave His Father and home, He was sold for pieces of silver, people wished Him dead, He was punished for something He didn't do-- yet in the end, God used it for good: so that He could forgive the sins of anyone who asked Him to. I explained that this King was Jesus. Then I asked Grace and Titus, "Do you remember that Jesus was sold for pieces of silver?" They shook their heads as I explained, "One of Jesus' disciples, Judas, decided to sell Jesus to some very bad people so that they would give him silver."

Titus then piped up, "Why not gold?"

Um... I think we're kind of missing the point here...

Is It Love or a Corset?

There is a book that I read about a year ago called, A Proper Pursuit. It's basically about a shallow but naive twenty-year-old girl whose mother ran away when she was a child and whose father is about to be remarried. She decides to go stay with her grandmother and three great aunts for a while to search for her mother-- the catch? They each have their own idea of what they want Violet to do with her life. Her grandmother just wants her to marry a pastor. One great aunt just wants her to marry well (read: someone rich). Another great aunt just doesn't want her to marry AT ALL. And the last great aunt-- well, she just encourages Violet to marry someone she loves. By the end of the story, Violet has completely changed and becomes a Christian.

Now, Violet is quite the humorous young lady. The only knowledge she has of the world at large comes from reading romance and mystery and adventure novels. *Ahem* dime novels. Below is a section of her thoughts during a lecture that one of her great aunts took her to. I hope you find it as amusing as I did. By the way, this story is set at the end of the 19th century and is written in the first person.

"'Ladies,' she began, 'I'm well aware that the majority of you are, at this very moment, trapped in the confines of a whalebone corset. But you might be shocked to learn that, according to my research, your tightly laced corsets are responsible for more than fifty female ailments.' She proceeded to enumerate them, one by one, but my mind began to wander after 'heart palpitations, difficulty breathing, and lightheadedness.' The symptoms sounded suspiciously like a romance novel's description of love. Could it be that thousands of women had married their husbands in the mistaken belief that they were in love, when all along their corsets had been too tight? How disappointing to watch their love mysteriously vanish once their corsets were unlaced. I made up my mind that if I ever felt love's symptoms, I would loosen my corset immediately before accepting a proposal of marriage."